A Moody Morning and How to be a Guest

 Overnight storms and the tap-tap-tap of early morning rain made for a dark and sleepy start to my day.

The house was so quiet, and the kids were sleeping in, so I remained in bed... dozing off...listening to the silence...

But just like those old Folgers commercials from the 90's (remember those?) I could smell that Micah had started the coffee, so I shuffled downstairs.

There are really only two reasonable things to do on rainy, moody mornings... read or bake. 

I decided I'd do both.

After placing two loaf pans of homemade banana bread into my oven to bake, I settled into my little claimed spot on the couch to make progress in my book.

There is a topic I have wondered about for years, so I am currently reading about it and learning so much!

The question that has nagged me is this:

Why do we only ever hear about hospitality (that we should be hospitable and how to be), but we never hear anything about the other side of the coin, which is... how to be a guest?

Being in Christian/ Church culture all my life, I can tell you we are in no short supply of Bible study authors and preachers telling us that any Christian worth their salt will know how to extend hospitality. And if you don't know how, there is a plethora of books, websites, even ladies in church offering classes... so what's your excuse?

But when I would ask the question, "Where are the books about how to be a guest?" I would be met with laughter or blank stares. 

One day my curiosity got the best of me, so I typed, books on how to be a guest, in my Amazon search bar.

One looked like it may be what I was searching for, so I ordered it and am almost through reading it.

It's titled, The Art of the Visit, Being the Perfect Host, Becoming the Perfect Guest, by Kathy Bertone.

It is unclear if she is a Christian, and the book is not from a biblical perspective, but it is excellent nonetheless! 

It is full of common visiting mistakes that can easily be corrected and altogether avoided with a little preparation, good sense, and being considerate of others.

Before I began reading it, I jotted down a few of my own thoughts on how to be a guest, just to see if I would read anything similar from her. Prior to being educated on the subject, I only came up with four points. Here is How to be a Guest, by yours truly...

1. Sit where your host puts you. (Your child says he'd be more comfortable eating that bowl of chili on the couch? Your host provided a kids' table with plastic covering for a reason!)

2. Be discreet and gracious about food. (Relationships with people are more important than food.)

3. Be in tune with your host's subtle hints. (He's checking his watch? She has started doing the dishes? It's time to leave.)

4. Don't bring others along. (Does any more really need to be said about this? Yet it happens.) 

Of course there are the unspoken rules so obvious it's not worth writing down (like: Be on time, Don't criticize decor, etc...) but still - pitiful little collection of common sense rules, don't you think? I had a lot to learn!

This book is showing me there is so much more to being a great guest! Here are a few of her suggestions that stood out to me...

How to be a Guest, by author Kathy Bertone, and summarized by me:

~ Make your needs known in advance.

According to Kathy, it is your responsibility to let your host know prior to the event if you will need a highchair for the baby, or if someone has a severe food allergy, for example. She writes that this will actually be a relief for your host, and could spare you an awkward (or even dangerous!) experience.

~ Have an idea of what the weather will be.

Your host doesn't want to scramble to come up with supplies you lack.

~ Don't bring other friends.

It is considered poor manners to have people join you that your host does not know.

~ Practice good conversation.

Be agreeable. Avoid off-color jokes. Err on the side of caution in conversation.

~ Put your phone away.

Your priority during a visit is enjoying your friends and family who are present.

~ Exercise moderation when eating.

Visiting someone is not the time to overstuff and indulge yourself at your host's expense.

~ Always clean up your child's messes.

Or better yet, she offers the brilliant suggestion of asking your host upon arrival if there are any house rules, like rooms that are off limits, for example. (I can't believe I never thought of that one!) 

Aren't these good?! This really just scratches the surface of all the wonderful advice in this book. I cannot do it justice here, so you should order yourself a copy! 

I'll admit it is difficult to memorize and adhere to every etiquette rule, but if we strive to keep our host's comfort in mind, we can be well on our way to becoming a perfect guest.

💝

"A great visit is like a two-way street with both guest and host giving and receiving." - Kathy Bertone

My moody morning is over... the sun is out. The kids are up. Time to get back to work...

~ Courtney 

Roman Downs Photography

 Lowering his father's hobby drone down from the shelf, Roman (fourteen at the time) asked if he could be shown how to fly it.

Since Roman had always been mechanically inclined and interested in the way things work, Micah didn't think much of walking with him out to the meadow to satisfy his request.

But not one to ever leave well enough alone, Roman continued puttering around with the drone as the weeks progressed, taking aerial photos of our property and gaining more familiarity and experience with it.

Maybe a few comments were made about starting a photography business, I'm not quite sure. I only remember the day he announced he had emailed several realtors in our town asking if they'd consider him for their next photoshoot.

"You did what?!" I exclaimed, silently doubting that anyone would hire a fourteen year old.

But an amazing thing happened. He started getting calls.

Micah and I would take turns driving him to his photoshoot appointments. Most of them were small, vacant homes in modest neighborhoods, making it easy for Roman to shoot, edit, and send the final product over to the realtor all on the same day. But sometimes the owners would be present, forcing Roman to have to shake hands, introduce himself, then proceed to snap photos in a stranger's home - the owners hovering nervously over him every step of the way. And then there were the times we'd be sent on a wild goose chase. Trying to make sense of a vague map and scant instructions, we'd travel an hour or more to find a piece of land nobody's ever lived on, deep in the woods somewhere.

 I would bring a book along to read while he worked, but I mainly watched him fly that little, old drone around and snap pictures with an iPhone. What he lacked in proper equipment, he made up for in reliability and reasonable prices. So he continued getting jobs!

Two years passed. He saved every dime he made and bought himself a car when he turned sixteen. (Never mind that it is a temperamental, high-milage car that has the tendency to leave him stranded at seemingly inopportune times... We are still figuring out what to do about that!) He at least now can take himself to photoshoots, like a real professional.

With time marching on, and enough jobs to build a savings, he recently was able to purchase what he needed all along... a camera! 

Roman has spent hours researching, watching tutorials, and practicing around our house with it.

This must have generated a new confidence and motivation, because his latest accomplishment has been the creation of business flyers.

After several attempts, the final design was decided on and printed...

So I should not have been surprised when I arrived home from a day of shopping to hear Roman say he spent his afternoon driving around town dropping his flyers off at any real estate office with an open door... (Flyers being wedged somewhat successfully in the frames of any locked doors.)

"How did you know where to go?" I asked.

"I just Googled real estate offices close by," he answered, with a tone that implied this is the easiest thing in the world.

So there you have it! The story of how Roman Downs Photography was born. If you know of anyone in need of real estate photography, you're welcome to contact Roman. He is flexible and efficient...

 as long as his car doesn't break down on the way. 😉

~ Courtney