Favorite Books for Small Children

I was just searching my children's book collection for a few favorites to take to church tomorrow. 

Nola and I volunteer in the twos and threes nursery room once a month, and I like to bring something from home that I think the kids might like. Usually it's books. I love reading to babies and toddlers.

As I scanned through the books, and put my selection for tomorrow in a stack, I began to feel what I usually feel when I look through our bookshelves... a twinge of grief and regret.

Even though I stayed home with all my children and read to them each and every day, I still wish I had done more! I know it was not possible for me to have done more, since as moms we all do our best every day. So maybe what I feel is just a longing for those years. I miss Corduroy, Curious George, and Nurse Nancy!

That's probably why I enjoy serving in the nursery at church once in a while. It takes me back to those years. I remember when my kids were at that stage and it was all about finger paints, play doh, and silly games and songs. 

Well, peeking through our books today made me realize my kids have outgrown some of them, which makes me sad. But looking at their covers brings to mind many warm memories of reading them and absorbing their lesson with my children.

Most children can sense if we're trying too hard to pound in a moral or lesson, so they zone out. 

As Charlotte Mason wrote, "Many a revolt has been brought about by the undo rubbing-in of the Bible, in season and out of season, even in nursery days." She advises to, "Let the teaching, moral or spiritual, reach them naturally."

That's probably why Aesop was careful to only use animals, not people, when teaching character. It's far less abrasive that way.

Here are a few of my favorite books for small children that impart a valuable lesson, as books can sometimes influence far beyond our own words...

I think everyone should read Scuffy the Tugboat!

In this book children see the danger and uncertainty Scuffy endures all because he thought he deserved better. He had a family who loved him but he became "too big for his britches" and ran away. In the end, of course, he realizes he belongs at home where he is safe and loved. I appreciate this book's warning to those who may be tempted to betray their family and think, "I was meant for bigger things," like Scuffy thought.

A Good Life is about an orphan boy who sets out on a quest to find the meaning of life. Many people along the way offer their advice and opinion, but in the end he discovers that life is a gift, and giving our lives for others is the best way to enjoy that gift.

We all know this one, don't we? Chicken Little and her frantic, "The sky is falling!" uproar. 

This story shows, through how quick Chicken Little's friends believed her story, the foolishness of those who lack good judgement. Proverbs 14:15 says, "A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps." Children should be taught to reject what is false and think for themselves.

Is there a better children's story for discreetly teaching capitalism than The Little Red Hen? Haha

2 Thessalonians 3:10 says, "If a man will not work, he shall not eat." The Little Red Hen was not wrong in refusing her bread to her friends in the end. Children see the consequences of laziness contrasted with the sense of accomplishment and self-esteem after a hard day's work in this classic book.

The Country Mouse and the City Mouse teaches that living a simple, contented life is a richer life than one may imagine. 

Of course we all know there's nothing wrong with living in the city. But Annie was lured away from her "dull country life" by the promise that city life was dazzlingly exciting. Only she spent her time there in constant danger and fear. Upon arriving safely back at home in the country, she tells her friends, "I would rather lead a simple life than dine on riches, and live in fear."

Elsa and I just read The Velveteen Rabbit together quite recently. It is just so touching and beautifully written. 

All small children go through a time when they believe their stuffed animals are real. I remember Nola, when she was around four or five, giving me strict instructions not to hold her animals by the neck or fling them into toy bins when I would tidy up. I am glad now I allowed those imaginations. Some people believe children should not be given fairy tales to read. But my own personal feeling on the matter is children have room in their lives for all sorts of miracles. Deep down they are able to distinguish between reality and make believe. And if they cannot, like in the example of Nola and her "real" stuffed animals, I can attest to the fact that only a little time is needed for a child to mature and sort it out on their own.

I know this was a tiny sampling of just a few favorites I've read to my kids over the years. But if you have babies and toddlers I hope I've given you one or two ideas for books with spiritual substance you can add to your family's library. Books can be a great tool for teaching a child to think, to develop character, to give high ideals, to inspire integrity, and to, "Train up a child in the way he should go." (Proverbs 22:6 ) Because, "Great literature has a way of building people." - Gladys Hunt

~ Courtney 

Teaching a Happy Heart-Attitude

I've made an observation.

ALL kids have minds of their own and want their own way.

Some are stronger-willed than others, but they will all try, at one point or another, to "buck the system."

I've made another observation.

What never would have been tolerated in generations past, is now being encouraged, or ignored at best.

I'm talking about a rebellious, stubborn spirit in a child.

"Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child..."

- Proverbs 22:15

Contrary to popular modern-day opinion, children are not wise and do not know what's best.

It is our job as parents to train and correct them.

"Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction drives it far from him."

- Proverbs 22:15

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."

- Proverbs 22:6

I've said to my children more times than I could possibly count, "I am your mother. I know what is right and best. I expect obedience with a happy heart-attitude."

When my children were babies and toddlers I was militant in training them to obey me.

I never allowed them to say "no" to me.

I considered that a serious offense!

It can seem cute when a little child shouts "no" to his mother, and it's very tempting to think it is harmless at such a young age.

But what a child is at two, he will be at fifteen, if his faults are not corrected.

My baby and toddler years are now over, and I am so glad I taught my children to obey me with a happy heart-attitude!

It certainly is a lot of hard, frustrating work when they're young, but the Lord rewards those who diligently do what is right.

"Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will bring delight to your soul."

Proverbs 29:17

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

- Galatians 6:9

So, if you are a young mother reading this, I would encourage you... do not be afraid to go against the grain of today's culture. 

You do not have to live a defeated life in this area.

YOU are the mother!

What you say, goes!

This is good and healthy, and makes for a very peaceful home.

Expect your children to respond to you respectfully. And administer a consequence when they don't.

I would get down on my child's level, eye to eye, and firmly say, "Your response shows me that you do not have the right heart-attitude. I want you to have a happy heart! I expect that you obey me with a happy heart-attitude!"

Sometimes their emotions are so out of control that swift discipline may need to be applied. Or they may need to be sent to their room to cool down.

Other times they quickly shape up and I can see a change of heart immediately. When that's the case, I simply allow them a do-over. I repeat the instruction and when they reply agreeably, I smile at them and remind them that this is what I expect every time!

Homelife should be peaceful and pleasant, but chaos reigns when parents have no control.

Let's take back our God-given place, mamas!

We can do it!

"The beauty and power of home life is hard to overestimate. Godly women are called to take responsibility for this realm. In doing so, they build homes with an investment in labor and love for beauty and stability that would make a home a center of the ministry of the church; a source of peace for all who enter there."

- Lori Alexander

I hope I have encouraged you today!

xo,

 ~ Courtney ~

A Few Thoughts on Correcting Temper Tantrums in Children

It's not the most pleasant topic...

Temper tantrums

So, I'll include some light-hearted family photos in this post to help brighten things up...

(Spring 2016)

Micah and I have never had much tolerance for whining or sour attitudes in children.

We decided very early on that we would nip it in the bud with our children as best as we could.

Why is it important not to let small children get away with temper tantrums?

Well, it's simple. Children who are accustomed to throwing fits grow up to become adults who throw fits.

We've all seen grown adults whine, fuss, complain, march, protest and manipulate when they don't get their way.

It doesn't look like the two year-old's version, but it's a fit just the same.

All one needs to do to witness adults acting this way is to turn on the evening news or watch a little politics.

I do not wish to bring politics into my blog, since this is a blog on home living...

But the reason it relates is because it can all be traced back to the home.

Maybe these people didn't have parents who taught them that life isn't fair, but that's ok... we can be content with what we have!

(Now there's a novel thought in our day of everyone screaming about their rights!)

I can't do anything about what's going on in our current culture, but I can do something about my own heart-attitude and the attitudes of my children.

(Winter 2017)

It all starts when a baby or small toddler stiffens their little body, throws their head back and lets out a mighty wail...

"Give me what I want or I'll make you miserable!" is essentially their heart-attitude.

Well... what are you going to do, mama?

You could administer a punishment of some sort, or even ignore it... But the worst thing you can do is give the child what they want in that moment.

Compromising or negotiating with them is equally as bad, because you are allowing the child to yank you down to their level. 

YOU are the mother!

(Think- I train them, they do not train me!)

(Summer 2017)

A baby or toddler who is not yet speaking can be trained in cause and effect.

With my babies, I would make a point to train them that their fit is not a means to getting what they want. 

When my children grew a little older, I would simply explain to them, "I will never give you what you want as long as you are whining at me for it."

Then I would go on to say something along these lines, "Your whining shows me you do not have the right heart-attitude. If you can get a handle on your emotions, and speak to me respectfully, I will consider what you are asking."

I've learned through experience that even a very young child can be spoken to on these terms.

(Fall 2017)

"Children merely want to know where the boundaries lie and who's available to enforce them."

- Dr. James Dobson

I have also been very strict about not allowing my children to say, "no" to me.

They have all tried it once or twice over the years, but every time I would stop what I was doing, look them sternly in the eye, and very firmly say, "You may NOT say 'no' to me! You say 'yes ma'am' and obey."

In every instance they would quickly straighten up and give me an agreeable, "Yes, ma'am." 

I have seen the fruit from planting these seeds, because now my children wouldn't dare say, "no" to me.

I am so thankful I trained them this way when they were very little.

If you are a young mother with babies and toddlers, I would encourage you to work on these things now! You will reap a harvest of happy children you enjoy being around when they get a little older! 

(New Years Day 2018)

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

- Galatians 6:9

I'd love to reap a harvest of all my children growing into contented, God-fearing adults, who love and respect the people around them.

Correcting their temper tantrums now, is the best place to start!

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."

- Proverbs 22:6

xo,

~ Courtney ~

When the Basics are Luxuries

The postpartum years are blurry in my memory.

I had four babies in five and a half years.

But I can remember when everyday basics like showering and laundry suddenly became luxuries.

Even getting to the coffee pot each morning was difficult.

Tremendous obstacles had to be overcome in order to earn that first hot sip.

Obstacles such as... The baby would be crying, needing a diaper change and a morning feeding... The toddler would need to be rushed to the potty as quickly upon waking up as possible, or I'd pay the consequences of having to clean up a tinkle accident... And an older child would have tried to pour himself a cup of juice, but spilled it down the cabinets and onto the floor. 

This is a normal day in a home of babies and toddlers.

I knew it was up to me to keep order and peace. But for years there were many days when toys would be all over the floors and couches, and the best I could do for dinner was a frozen pizza.

I learned during those years to be content with "good enough" and to just focus on the basics.

Of course, every mother must decide for herself what her basics are. For me I was comfortable letting most things slide, but my basics were clean clothes and bedding, and good enough meals. (Like cutting up some fresh fruit to go wth our frozen pizza, haha!)

Having babies is an unordinary and hard time in life, so the first hurdle (in my opinion) is mental; just coming to terms with the fact that homemaking isn't going to flow smoothly. Don't expect to be able to mop floors, tidy rooms, and fold laundry with the same ease as before.

Cheryl Mendelson in her fantastic housekeeping book, Home Comforts writes an encouraging and reasonable standard for the home during hard times...

"The goal during these hard times is to adhere, more or less, to some workable minimal routine. If you can still cook simple meals and food preparation areas are safe and sanitary, if everyone has clean clothes, if the bedrooms are dusted, vacuumed, and aired and the bedding is fresh, you are doing well."

I learned a few tricks throughout my baby and toddler years. Nothing revolutionary, but they really helped me. "Survival tactics" I suppose they could be called. I'll share them here...

1. I kept my bible open at all times on my kitchen table.

Before I had my babies I would keep my bible in my bedroom and read at night before falling asleep, or early in the mornings before rushing out to work. That system quickly became impossible after children came along. There's no such thing as alone time in my room. So my solution was to move my bible down to the kitchen and keep it open. 

The kitchen is a woman's headquarters, and where I spend most of my time. So if I had a few minutes while the pasta water was coming to a boil, or while I was feeding the baby in the highchair, my bible would be right there, and I could easily read. But mainly it came in handy at breakfast time. I would sit with all my children while we ate, and I would read aloud to them. Looking back, this was a fruitful time in our lives. My children memorized all of Psalm 23 and other large portions of scripture during the years my bible lived on our kitchen table.

2. I showered at night.

I still do this actually, but I went from always showering in the mornings to showering at night when my first born was a baby. It was just too hard to figure out how to shower in the chaos of the mornings. So instead, once the children are tucked into bed, I shower in the peace and quiet of the evening. Micah is home and can listen for the children while I'm in the bathroom. This way all I have to do in the morning is wash my face and get dressed and I'm ready to begin on breakfast and child-care. 

3. I've taught my babies that they are not in charge; I AM!

This one is important in our modern day. I have observed many young parents who cater to their children's demands and live a child-centered life. I taught my babies to be content in strollers, highchairs, and pack 'n plays. Chaos reigns in homes where the children are free to do as they wish and the parents have no control. This certainly doesn't mean we've never had chaotic days. I just mean generally speaking, my children know that I am the boss and they are not.

An example...

If I wanted to go to the mall I would strap my babies in the stroller and shop for as long as I wanted. They knew they were just along for the ride. If they fussed I would NOT get them out! I knew that letting them out would only teach them that I would give in if they fussed when they wanted something. 

Lastly...

4. This too shall pass.

I used to hate it when people would tell me this, but it's true! On hard days when I would spin my wheels on diaper change after diaper change, mess after mess, and toddler tantrum after toddler tantrum, it would help me to remember that these years are temporary. And I'll never get them back! Sure enough, as I write this, my youngest now is already three and a half! Daily life isn't nearly as hard as it was several years ago. It flew by, indeed! 

I am no longer resorting to just the basics. I can fit more things into my day, and even delegate jobs to my older children! 

But the most beautiful reward for surviving this season of life, is that once you get your "normal" back, you are still able to see the basics as luxuries.

Maybe it's a perk, or a gift from the Lord? I don't know. But I do know that I haven't taken clean laundry, a good nights' sleep, or an obstacle-free cup of morning coffee for granted ever since!

"He hath made everything beautiful in His time." ~ Ecclesiastes 3:11

Take care friends,

xo,

~ Courtney ~

Some Encouragement

Hi, friends!

I hope you are enjoying a cozy evening at home.

I'm just popping in with a quick post tonight because I got an idea of something I want to share with you...

Once in a while I come across a quote in a book, or paragraph in a blog that really inspires and encourages me.

Other times I may read something that convicts me and causes me to want to strive to do better.

(I believe this is good for us. We should have a desire to learn more and do better.)

I do not read books or follow blogs by young women who preach the, "I'm awesome. You're awesome. Anything you do is awesome" message while boasting about the piles of dirty dishes in their sinks and bragging about their rambunctious children and greasy hair.

You know the type. 

"Just keepin' it real!"

*eye roll...

Yes, I know the overall goal of these women is to be humorous, and I like to laugh just like everyone else, but I try not to let their message take root in my heart.

I do not need to hear from some stranger on the internet that I'm beautiful and anything I do is more than good enough.

When you know who you are in Christ, you don't need validation from anyone else.

"In Christ you have been brought to fullness."

~ Colossians 2:10a

"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"

~ 1 John 3:1

"You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light."

~ 1 Peter 2:9

But anyway, (I may be getting off track) I prefer to follow the blogs of older women who can teach me valuable things about being at home, because then I'm encouraged to do better!!!

And that's what gave me the idea for this post!

I thought I'd share just a few lines that I've read recently from books and blogs that have inspired and convicted me.

Does that sound interesting to you?

Ok! Let's begin...

"As godly women, our goal in life should be going around doing good and the most important people we should be doing good for is our own family. Learn to be a servant and do what you can to make their lives as happy as you can. Be in the Word so you can be a cheerful presence in your home. Don't be ruled by your emotions but be ruled by truth."

~ Lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife

"Today women worry so much about whether they are considered to be beautiful according to some narrow standard. They are so focused on appearance they neglect the unique beauty they already possess and that never ages. It is the beauty we have in our feminine smile, mannerisms, and the way we treat others.

If you work on these qualities and do the best with what you have physically, you will be adored and thought charming, even beautiful. Others will want to be around you and when you're not there, they will remember you fondly and speak well of you. They may not say you had the prettiest face or the best legs but they will think of you as a beautiful person.

We should all take care of ourselves and not neglect our hair, clothing or makeup, but don't worry if you don't look like a movie star. Even movie stars have to work at it and as you no doubt know, their looks don't promise them happiness, or even lasting love."

~ fascinatingwomanhood.com 

(This was our backyard last year on Christmas Eve. I really hope we have snow again for Christmas this year!!!)

"The home is powerful. If it were not an important institution, the enemies of God and man would leave it alone. The people who control the home control the future. Parents are the first representatives of God on earth, within the home is the hope of morality."

~ Dr. Daniel A. Lord

"A mother should not only have no favorites among her children, but she should be the earliest confidante of all their thoughts and hopes... Early feelings and experiences are the most enduring with all of us, and in proportion to the child's sensitiveness will be the depth of scars which the sorrows of childhood leave behind them. Too many parents, alas, imagine that so long as the child is fed and clad all is going well with it."

~ An excerpt from Mothers of Great Men and Women, published in 1892

"In order for a mother to have children that respect her, she must train them from an early age to respect the authority in their lives. If a mother fails to teach her children this important discipline, the child will suffer their entire lives since children don't naturally obey, respect, and reverence authority, as we see among many children today.

Children need to be disciplined and trained from a young age to obey their mother's first request to them - immediate obedience! But, the mother must also show her children a lot of love, warmth, affection, and cheerfulness so obedience isn't burdensome. She should want them to grow up to obey the Lord willingly and joyfully. Mothers are the training ground where children either learn to do this or not."

~ Lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife 

Just today I was driving home from the grocery store with my children in the backseat, and as I was coming through a round-about, a truck barreled through in front of me and I had to slam on my breaks in order not to hit him. 

He never saw me.

He never looked.

He just bullied his way on in at my expense.

As irritating as that is, it actually sparked a great discussion between me and the children. (So for that I was thankful for Mr. Daredevil.) 

It began as me telling them that even if you're in the right, and another person is in the wrong, do everything you can to avoid an accident. (I slammed on the breaks so hard, several grocery items came sailing out of their bags and onto the floor. Haha...) I explained to them how important it is to keep a clear driving record, and to follow traffic rules at all times.

From there the conversation evolved to me explaining that rules and laws are put in place to protect us and keep us safe! I said, "Sometimes you may be tempted to think that dad and I are trying to ruin your fun with rules, but that is not true. Dad and I love you and want you to be successful someday.  That's why we're teaching you now how to obey, so that when you're older you'll know how to obey the laws, and how to obey a manager or boss."

To that, one of my children replied, "Yes, mom, you've told us this before."

Haha... 

So, maybe I'm a broken record, but they'll get the point... won't they?

Well friends, weren't those quotes and excerpts encouraging?!

I hope you feel uplifted! (And reminded to yield to the left in round-abouts!!! Sheesh!)

:)

Until next time...

xo,

~ Courtney ~

Babies, Toddlers, and Grocery Shopping

Hello, friends!

You know, every once in a while I receive feedback from my readers.

Some of you have been kind to point out grammatical errors or misspelled words, which I appreciate, because I can easily go into 'edit' and make adjustments.

Some of you have been kind to tell me about projects or decorating you have done in your home because of something you've seen on this blog that sparked an idea.

And some of you have been kind to offer suggestions on topics you'd like for me to write about...

That is the reason I have sat down today to compose this post!

A reader (and dear friend) reached out to me and asked, "How do you grocery shop with little kids?! Can you write a blog post about that?"

Well, in thinking about her request, I realized that my season of grocery shopping difficulty is behind me, now that my kids are older and can tag along no problem. But, there was a stretch of time several years ago, when I had babies and toddlers, that grocery shopping was almost impossible!

I would lug in a heavy baby-filled carseat on one hip, and a less than cooperative toddler on the other hip... Plop the carseat in the back of a shopping cart, and buckle the toddler into the front of the cart... Shove my huge mom bag down below and then wonder... "Where am I going to put any groceries?!" 

Now, before any of you blast me in the comments about grocery stores having home delivery services, please know that that wasn't a thing six years ago when I was dealing with this. The city we're closest to only just recently built a grocery store with that feature, and besides, we're out of their delivery limits.

SO... What was I to do?

My husband felt sorry for me during those years and would offer to stop by the store on his way home from work. But I didn't prefer that because as any exhausted young mother knows, we want dad home as soon as possible!!! Him stopping for groceries after work meant prolonging the reinforcements! Haha...

My solution during those years was this:

One night a week I would leave for the store, alone, after the kids had been tucked into bed.

It was perfect!

Dinner was done, the kitchen was clean, Micah was home, and the kids were none the wiser... I could zip over to the store and be back home in half the time as it would have taken had I gone during the day with them.

Plus! It gave me a much needed break!

Other than maybe lucking out with a magical nap hour where everyone was asleep at once, there was no other time during the week that I could be alone.

It was a peaceful thing for me to shop in the evening, by myself, and while the store was quieting down for the night.

I grocery shopped this way for several years.

I would go every Monday night, and get a weeks' worth of food and supplies.

(The photos in this post are of my home, and really have nothing to do with grocery shopping, but just meant to break things up and add interest. :)

I saw some sad scenes during those years that validated my decision to leave my babies home...

I remember one very cold, winter night, walking into the store behind a young mother who had a baby in her arms, and the baby was barefoot!!! Completely barefoot! How sad it was for me to see those little baby toes dangling in the frigid air! I thought about my babies and how blessed they were to be home in their warm beds.

On another occasion I witnessed a very young toddler having a meltdown in the checkout lane behind me. I could tell by the tone of the cry that the child was overly tired. The child's parents had lost their patience, and were screaming at her to stop. I wanted to say, "She's not being sassy, she is exhausted! She should've been tucked into bed hours ago!" But of course, because of social etiquette, I said no such thing, only looked over at the angry father and smiled sympathetically. Because it had appeared that both parents were with the child, I couldn't help but think, "Why didn't one of them stay home with the baby, and the other run to the store? It's 9:30 at night!!!" But I'm sure they had their reasons. (And who am I and what do I know?! *eyeroll) 

A year or so ago I realized that I no longer had babies in car seats, and wondered if grocery shopping with the kids again should be something to consider.

There are many life skills that can be learned at the grocery store! And homeschool mama's are able to look at all areas of life and find teaching opportunities! Haha...

So, my current system is to shop every Monday afternoon with all the kids.

Recently, one of my children learned how to round up to the nearest dollar, so an afternoon grocery shopping is a good time to review that skill. I will point out an item labeled $1.98, for example, and ask, "So, what is $1.98 rounded up?" and do that with several grocery items, letting them answer.

It's also a good opportunity to teach things like, checking bread and produce for the latest date, because that will be the freshest option, and, "What's the better value? Just because this can of beans is 20 cents cheaper than this one, doesn't mean it's a better deal." And I would point to oz. per can to show them why.

There was one shopping trip where we spent the whole time looking for compound words on labels and signs...

Yes, a lot can be learned at the grocery store!

Granted, it takes us a couple of hours to get through the store, haha... but it has provided real-life experience for my kids!

I don't really deal with too many behavioral issues from them anymore, but a couple of years ago I began laying out expectations in the car before entering the store with them.

This was very helpful and I would recommend it!

I would simply let everyone know what I expected of them while shopping.

It would sound something like this... "There is to be no running off. I need everyone to stay close to the cart! You may make suggestions on what (chips, cereal, gum) you like, but I reserve all rights to making the final purchasing decision! No one is to pull anything off of any shelves, only touch the items I ask you to help with! I expect full obedience and cooperation with happy hearts!!!" 

I have given them my pre-shopping speech so many times now, that at this point when we're unloading the car to go into a store, I just have to say, "OK, everyone! You know the drill!" And the children know what I mean! Haha...

I know I have taught this on my blog before, but I think it's worth repeating, and that is that children will rise to whatever standard is set for them. If you give them a high standard, they will meet that. However, if you give them a low standard, that is likely all they'll do.

I have tried to remember this while shopping with my kids.

There's no reason why they can't cooperate and keep up without causing any problems if that's what they're expected to do.

:)

Well, friends, what about you?!

What would you add to all this?

I'd love to hear your thoughts and tips!

Thanks for reading today!

Until next time...

xo,

~ Courtney ~

Children's Behavior In The Grocery Store

Hello again, friends!

I always enjoy sitting down at my computer to "visit" with you!

Are you having a nice summer?

I like winter, but there's just nothing like waking up to warm sunlight streaming across my bed, and birds singing outside my opened window!

I always do an early morning walk around our property, with shears in hand, to find flowers for the house. I wasn't sure what I'd come up with this morning since the peonies are done and the hydrangeas aren't here yet... 

But I sort of like my random little arrangement...

This actually isn't what I had planned on writing about, though.

(I just wanted a pretty photo to get this post started! Haha...)

I was hoping to give a little encouragement to young mama's on the topic of running errands with babies and toddlers.

It can be difficult, can't it friends? 

They will fight you! Haha...

Modern-day methods of dealing with unruly children include things like, time-outs, attempting to reason with them, negotiation, compromise, caving into their whining and succumbing to their wishes... All of these methods, as any seasoned parent knows of course,  DO NOT work!

The Lord has given us a better way.

"He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him." 

~ Proverbs 13:24

When dealing with a baby or toddler, any disobedience must be met with swift correction, so that they learn cause and effect. Disobedience = something unpleasant. If you wait too long after the offense, they won't know what they're getting spanked for. Match their disobedient act with discipline as quickly as you can! 

This can be done easily at home. But it is not easy when you are out and about running errands!

I have finally reached a season in my mothering where shopping with my children is relatively pleasant and easy. But it took discipline to get here!

I'd like to share with you a story...

Years ago, when my oldest was a toddler, and I was hugely pregnant with my second, I was trying to grocery shop in the middle of a snowstorm. As if all of that isn't difficult enough, near the end of our trip my toddler began pitching a fit that quickly escalated into an all-out temper tantrum! 

I put my face close to his and quietly, but sternly said, "No. No fits. Stop your fit."

He completely disregarded me. So I said, "Are you going to obey and stop your fit?"

He showed no signs of wanting to obey.

I knew I had a decision to make.

I could let him disobey me and finish my shopping, or I could drop what I was doing to correct his behavior.

I have never felt comfortable spanking my children in public, so I knew this would require a trip out to the car.

(A quick note on spanking in public... Of course you have to do what is right for you. Maybe you are comfortable with it and can do it discreetly and not care what others think. That is great! But, I've always felt like our culture is dark is perverted and would not recognize godly parenting. The bible says, "The word of God is foolishness to those who are perishing." 1 Cor. 1:18 Also, I've never been up for dealing with strangers and their foolish comments. "Do not answer a fool according to his folly." Prov. 26:4 )

But anyway, back to my story...

To say it was greatly inconvenient to stop in the middle of that shopping trip to take my toddler (and my waddling pregnant self) out to the car that day, would be an understatement.

I did not want to do it.

It was snowing and the parking lot was a slushy mess... My shopping cart was full, and I hadn't paid for anything yet... My toddler was screaming... I was huge, sore, and tired... And all alone...

Do you feel sorry for me, yet? Haha...

I wheeled my full cart up to the front door greeter, smiled and said through the screaming, "Can I please leave my cart with you for a few minutes? I need to take my son out to the car but I will be right back to pay for my groceries."

I abandoned my cart, scooped up my diaper bag and flailing toddler, and waded through the icy parking lot to our car.

I remember it being physically challenging. 

I wedged myself awkwardly into the back of the car to administer the spanking.

Then I spoke firmly to my toddler.

I said, "You may NOT scream at me in the grocery store. That is a no-no. I expect obedience. Are you ready to go back in and do the right thing?" 

I am hoping this next part of the story will encourage you young mama's with toddlers... and that is, I have never had another issue with this particular child in a store ever since.

God rewarded my efforts.

My heart in writing this to you is not to brag. I fully realize my children and I are nothing special!!! I'm just wanting to help show you that God's ways are best and they work!

"As for God, His way is perfect. The word of the Lord is flawless." 

~ Psalm 18:30

"Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death."

~ Proverbs 23:13-14

Now, fast-forward several years later... My children are enjoyable to have along on shopping trips! To have them with me is not a burden at all!

(Of course you realize that this doesn't stem from just this one instance of discipline, but from a consistent, daily habit of disciple through the years and a habit that I'm still doing today!)

"Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul."

~ Proverbs 29:17

The above photo is from our most recent shopping trip.

Soren was having a hard time understanding why Roman got a treat and no one else did, which is why he looks bummed in this picture.

I tend to expect a lot from Roman since he's the oldest. It's always his job to push the second cart and follow behind me and keep up. It's a big job, and he does it well! (When you have a big family and a big house, one cart is no longer sufficient.)

So, on this particular shopping day, I decided to "thank" him by allowing him to pick out a small treat.

I told him that I appreciated his help, and that it always means a lot to me when he's willing to do it with a happy heart!

And it was a good lesson for the other kids, as well. Soren said, "How come I don't get a treat?! This isn't fair!" I was able to teach them that, "Yes, it is fair. When a person does extra work, he gets extra payment."

Now I've got children fighting over who will help me push the second cart next week! They all want to do it! Haha...

Well anyway, friends... I know this wasn't my usual post on home living, but getting out of the house to grocery shop is a big part of life for homemakers. Our weekly errands greatly affect our schedule and our home life. It's all connected! And children should learn that whatever the rules and standards are in the home, will be carried over into public, as well!

"Children merely want to know where the boundaries lie and who's available to enforce them."

~ Dr. James Dobson

My husband taught me years ago how to look at the bigger picture in regards to discipline. He would say, "If we can break their stubborn will and teach them to obey what we instruct, then they should have no problem submitting to the Lord and His ways when they're older, because it's been built into their framework."

That certainly became my vision, and what is always in the back of my mind when I discipline.

"Where there is no vision, the people perish; but he that keepeth the law, happy is he."

~ Proverbs 29:18

I cannot say I've done it perfectly right each and every time, but I pray the Lord will honor my efforts and that my children will grow "in the fear and admonition of the Lord." Eph. 6:4

Thanks for taking the time to read today, friends!

xo,

~ Courtney ~

Disclaimer: Everything I write is just my own experiences and beliefs, meant to encourage and build up believers. I am not an expert, or a teacher. I am a nobody. Please study the scriptures for yourself. Talk everything out with your husband, and come to your own conclusions. 

:)