Teaching Etiquette (Hospital Visits)

Hello Friends!

Today I want to talk about teaching our children etiquette.

One argument against homeschooling that I often hear is, How will a homeschooled child learn how to survive in society? 

I get it. 

I do.

But still, I find myself thinking, Well... I don't want my children to learn how to survive... Is that the goal? To only survive?... I want them to know how to thrive and do well!

Mama's, That is up to Us!

Schools don't teach social etiquette anyway, so whether a child is homeschooled or not, this is our job! 

I've written on teaching etiquette before, but there are so many facets to this, I think I may have to give it its own category in "Labels", and write about more topics.

Today's topic is:

Lessons that children should be taught while visiting someone in the hospital. 

This is fresh on my mind for two reasons. 1. It's been exactly one year now since my seven-year old, Roman, was in the hospital. And 2. We just visited a friend of ours in the hospital only a couple of weeks ago. I brought all of the children with me to experience it and learn the lessons.

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Last year this time my Roman had an asthma attack so severe, that it landed him in the ICU for three days. 

(He gave me permission to share these photos:)

It was a scary and sleepless experience!

(The view from our tenth floor room was tranquil, however.)

When we visited our friend recently, she was in a room just across the hall from where Roman stayed. 

It brought back many memories.

I believe in looking for the every day, teachable moments in raising children. It's a far better teacher than merely reading about something in a text book. 

So when I brought my children with me to visit our friend, I made a point to talk to them about four key lessons when making a hospital visit:

1. Be quiet and respectful.

Adults are typically very understanding when it comes to rowdy and noisy children. However, children must be taught that there is a time and a place for all behaviors. It is good and reasonable to expect that children be quiet and respectful when in a hospital. 

This includes whispering, and quiet feet while walking. 

A hospital visit is not the time to have the attitude of, Well... kids will be kids. No. There are plenty of other times where jumping, running, and shouting are acceptable. We will be greatly benefitting our children's lives if we teach them how and when to "shut all noise down" and expect them to do it.  

I'm learning from experience that children will meet whatever standard that is expected of them. So if the standard is low, that's what they'll do. For the child who has been faithfully taught obedience, they will have no problem meeting a higher standard.

2. Don't stay long.

This is very important because hospital stays can be trying and stressful...

It is a joy to receive a visit from a friend, but that joy can quickly turn burdensome if the visitor overstays.

I talked to my children about this ahead of time. I told them that we were only going to stay for a few minutes and I explained why. That way they were prepared and knew what to expect in the moment, but I was also training them in etiquette for the future. 

3. Bring a small gift.

Roman told me how he remembered it meaning a lot to him when someone brought a card or balloon for him while they visited.

My children made cards for our friend and we also brought her a small stuffed animal.  

Children enjoy receiving these types of things. Some other ideas are coloring pages, stickers, crayons, gum or suckers.

If visiting an adult you could bring a journal with a nice pen, a book or magazine, or a soft, warm pair of socks. 

When I was in the hospital having my babies, I would receive flowers and plants. I enjoyed lining them up on my hospital room's windowsill. It really brightened up my room and my spirit!

Lastly,

4. Don't talk about yourself or your problems.

I remember years ago, a family friend came to visit us during the final days of my brothers life. She spent a significant portion of her visit telling us all about her, her family, and her current problems.

My mother was gracious and polite with her. I sat quietly in the corner, but inside I was screaming,

My brother is dying!!! We don't care to hear about your problems!

This was the final lesson I spoke to my children about when visiting our friend. I explained to them that it is impolite for us to talk about ourselves. I told them that in the short, few minutes of our visit, we should be saying things like,

- You were on my mind first thing this morning.

- We've been praying for you.

- How did the surgery go?

- It's good to see you up and about.

- Can we bring you anything?

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These are all important lessons that our children can carry with them into adulthood. And they'll be very grateful they were taught these things!

Remember, it is our job to raise up the next generation in righteousness. Striving to raise them as the mother in Proverbs 31:26 did, "She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue."

Well friends, that's all for today. If you can think of anything else to add to this list of etiquette during a hospital visit,  please share in the comments below!

I'd love to hear your thoughts!

I'll be back soon with some glimpses of Fall around our farmhouse...

It's a glorious season in the countryside!

Until then,

xo,

~ Courtney ~