My Christmas Tree (and a Few Thoughts on Socializing with Difficult People)

Hello again, friends.

I am happy to be writing again.

I truly hope you all are enjoying this holiday season!

(Meanwhile, out my kitchen window...)

Isn't it wonderful to live in a place where there are glistening white winters!

I've always felt so lucky to live in the north.

"I never knew winter could be so beautiful." - Anna from Frozen.

I heard on the radio that it was 105 degrees in Australia today.

Yikes!

Yes friends, we should feel so happy to be here.

The heat will come back for us when it's ready. Until then I just tell myself this is so wonderful and fun! 

"Reality is something you rise above." - Liza Minnelli

*wink

It's warm inside, maybe you'd like to come in and see my Christmas tree...

Here she is. All ready for our family's Christmas Eve gathering here at our farmhouse.

I tried to make the dining room a little festive, too...

I hung garland and mistletoe over the doorway, included the nativity set with the centerpiece, and placed live topiaries on the window sills.

I'm also coaxing paper-white bulbs in this sunny corner...

(I spy with my little eye, a barn kitty asking to come in...)

"There's a happy feeling nothing in the world can buy~

When they pass around the coffee and the pumpkin pie..."

I realize not everyone has this warm and fuzzy feeling at Christmas.

Sometimes Christmas is stressful.

Sometimes it's painful.

Sometimes it forces us into social situations with difficult people.

I have wondered before what to do when some holiday events expose me to such people, however they are obligatory.

First of all I ask myself, must I absolutely go to this event? 

If I can at all find a way out of it without my absence being too upsetting, I take it!

However, not all events can be that easily dismissed.

The ones I must attend I have a few tactics for...

People who are genuine are easy targets for the One-Upper, the Jabber, and the Know-it-All, (just to name a few.) Let's take the One-Upper as an example...

Someone at the dinner table might say something like, "I am working on writing a book." Or you might say, "Our second-grader is reading fluently." The One-Upper will come back with, "Oh, I have written and published books. People ask me all the time if I would write a book... and all of my children were fluent readers by Kindergarten."

How do you cope with people like this?

My first tactic comes from a lesson I learned years ago when I worked at a salon.

I had a client who was very high-maintenance. She needed a lot of fussing over and she sucked up a lot of my time. In fact, even though our standard time-frame for a woman's haircut was 45 minutes, I could never manage to get her out of my chair in under an hour and a half!

I would get so frustrated with her because she'd drain me and put me behind schedule.

Finally one day our receptionist said something I've not forgotten.

She very wisely said to me, "Courtney, some people just need that. It's ok. Just schedule an hour and a half for her haircuts because that's what she needs. Some people just need that extra time and reassurance."

I was struck. I thought that was so understanding and kind.

I am thankful she taught me that life lesson because it can be used with various difficult people.

When the One-Upper shuts you up with, "All my children were fluent readers by Kindergarten," remember that they probably don't mean anything by it. They just need that extra attention and reassurance.

Another tactic I've tried is to just simply ignore these people.

Remember when our mothers would tell us to "Just ignore it!' when we'd come home from school complaining of a kid who picked on us that day?

Well, sometimes that's the best tactic. Especially with the Jabber. They'll realize they're getting nowhere with you and move on to find a new target.

However, if you choose to ignore it keep in mind that you'll have to find a way to come to peace with it within yourself.

Try putting on the "Breastplate of Righteousness" (Eph. 6:11) and ping those hurtful comments up to the Lord and let Him deal with the person.

The last tactic I want to share is this... I understand that I have no control, no power, and no authority over these types of people, BUT I can decide I will do better myself and train my children to do better in social politeness.

Just the other day Roman very proudly announced, "I am on the 85th lesson in my arithmetic book!" But before I could reply, Nola said, "I'm on the 87th lesson in mine!"

I know she didn't mean a thing by it, but I firmly corrected her. I said, "Nola, that was the wrong response. You are on the 87th lesson, so what you said is not untrue. But be happy for your brother and let him have a moment. Just because you have something to say, doesn't mean it should be said."

We can train our children in proper social etiquette, and teach them what's rude and what's polite.

So, going into all the parties and events this holiday season, let's remember...

"Only say what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." - Eph. 4:29

Thanks for reading,

xo,

~ Courtney ~

Grow Your Own Candy Canes

Did you know you can grow your own candy canes at home?

We just tried it ourselves.

See? Homemade candy canes!...

Wanna know how we did it?

All you need are some magic candy cane seeds, fresh snow, and some fun-loving children.

(Note: There are various renditions of this that you can find on-line. Today's post is just our version of it.)

First things first...

I read a book about candy canes to my children before we planted our seeds.

(Homeschool moms tend to think that all activities should begin with a corresponding read-aloud, haha!)

After our reading I presented the kids with the seeds...

I told them that these were magic candy cane seeds that I special ordered. 

We bundled up and went outside to plant them.

Candy canes grow wild at the North Pole, you know. So they need to be planted in snow.

We sprinkled the seeds in plastic planters that were about 3/4 filled with snow...

Then packed more snow over the top to cover the seeds.

We decided to place our planters on our side porch, so that we could check on them everyday and watch them grow.

I reminded the kids to be patient! It takes time for seeds to spout and grow!

After a few days (and with a little behind-the-scenes help from Mom) we noticed they were growing!

This is exciting stuff!

But we still must be patient.

They are not ready to eat yet.

We waited a few more days... (Translation- Mama forgot. Whoops!) and Nola reminded everyone this morning at breakfast that we should check on our candy canes.

I played it off real cool, but when they weren't suspecting I announced that I needed to run out and "grab the mail."

After a few minutes I came back inside and shouted, "Kids! You should see your candy canes!"

(Nola's face here cracks me up... I thought she had really fallen for it.)

They were thrilled to see how they had grown!

Elsa wonders... How in the world?! Haha...

It seems that I cannot manage to peel those teeny skin-tight wrappers off of candy canes without snapping their little curved heads off. *eye roll. So I just told the kids that since they are homemade, they are not going to look as perfect as the store bought ones.

They didn't seem to care. They were enjoying a delicious candy cane snack.

Candy canes dipped in fresh snow? Why not!

All gone. That was fun!

Later on Roman and Nola both told me that they knew how I did that.

I guess they weren't fooled.

Bummer.

(Maybe they were too old. Or maybe that's what I get for teaching my kids to be critical thinkers. Haha...)

Anyway, it was fun for the younger kids.

They asked to do it again!

But I don't know... That was a lot of sneaky work out in the frigid cold for the poor candy cane fairy. I don't think I'll ask her to do it again so soon. *wink

I'm sure she'd love to visit your house and grow candy canes with you!

Now you know what to do...

xo,

~ Courtney ~ 

A Head Start on Christmas Decorating

My home this Christmas is filled with greenery, and touches of red...

We are not done. We will get our trees and wreaths next weekend.

I also still need poinsettias and paper whites for the window sills.

But I feel like I've achieved a pretty good start.

Come on in, I'll show you around...

My banister and mantle garlands are from Hobby Lobby.

I think they're really beautiful embellished with faux roses and berries from Walmart.

Pine cones and deer antlers are a nice addition, too...

I used fresh greenery from around our yard in the kitchen,

and up in the front room as well...

Pine cones, red berries, boxwood, and pine can all be found on nature walks and it's free!

I tend to always go a natural and authentic route with seasonal decor. I feel it satisfies my old farmhouse better than what's new and trendy.

My home is 107 years old. She is very much stuck in her ways and doesn't want her glory days forgotten.

It would sure hurt her feelings if I were to force modern decor on her!

I have been happy to respect her history.

"Although it is a common temptation at Christmastime to be extravagant with decorations, staying true to the essence of a home's design theme may be even more impactful."

- Victoria magazine 

But having said that, I did cave and purchase battery candles (above). Even though real wax and flame candles are superior, having them among fresh greenery makes me nervous! I've been happy with these. I found a box of twelve for $8.00 at Walmart. They "flicker" just like the real thing!

My antique rocking horse gets a bow around his neck, and lighted garland at his feet every year...

He's never complained.

And my pine topiary ball receives a red berry garnish...

There's still much more to do, but that is my head start on this year's Christmas decorating.

Now if we'd just get a fresh blanket of snow!

You can see that we need it!

I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas, and hope you are, too!

Have you decorated yet?

xo,

~ Courtney ~

Presentation Day

Today was a special day in our homeschool journey...

Today was "Presentation Day!"

(I'm not sure why Soren is saluting, haha.)

Aren't they cute?

They did a great job!

Being a homeschool mother means taking on the huge responsibility of educating your children all by yourself.

Yikes!

But I don't like to think of it that way.

I prefer to look at it like I get to have my children all to myself, pioneering a way of life for us that suits our family perfectly.

That means, we do what we want!

So we pursue interests, like last winter when we made individual little hot dog roasters...

Or last week when we spent the afternoon watercolor painting at grandma's house...

When a weakness in personality arises, I can address the issue in whatever way I see fit.

Recently I noticed a habit of mumbling in one of my children, along with a tendency to get bashful while speaking.

Remembering back to my own childhood of having to give speeches, like oral book reports in front of class mates, I created an opportunity for each of them to give a talk today.

Each child wrote a speech based on a topic they chose.

I provided guidelines and tips like...

- Provide a visual aid

- Include three main points

- Speak clearly and confidently

- Don't ever turn your back to the audience

etc...

It was a special day. Our "audience" consisted of my mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, and aunt.

The kids were up at 6:30 this morning setting up the living room and getting things ready...

Elsa's speech was about flamingos...

Roman's speech was about lions...

Nola chose to talk about wolves...

And Soren gave a talk about socks...

(He's got a goofy sense of humor. Notice the sock banner, ha!)

Today felt special and fun since we had some relatives over, so I put together a nice lunch for us afterward...

The kids did really well with their speeches and even asked when we could do this again!

What a fun day!

Recently a veteran homeschooling mama told me to create such an environment at home that home is the place to be! 

I love that mission.

"Where there is no vision, the people perish..." -Proverbs 29:18

I hope to continue purposely crafting a home that is unique to us.

That is my vision.

How do you create a culture in your home for your family?

You are welcome to leave a comment.

Thanks for reading, friends.

xo,

~ Courtney ~ 

A Simple Day at Home

We awoke to quite the surprise this morning, didn't we friends?

The first snow of the year is always such a delight...

I could hear my children rustling around downstairs while I laid in bed, still sleepy-eyed in the early morning darkness, wondering what all the excitement could be!

Of course, as I have written before, where we live old man Winter can be such a boss to the other seasons. I couldn't help feeling sorry for poor Autumn. She gets her pumpkin toes stepped on this time of year. I'm sure she had a talkin'-to with him today... "Excuse me, Winter, it is not your turn yet. Quit cutting in line! Your snow is making a mess all over my mums and gold leaves!"

I've never gotten the impression that Wisconsin Winter cares.

He just stomps around whenever he pleases.

Nevertheless, the fresh snow is beautiful, so one just can't help but enjoy it!

Part of how we enjoy each change of scene is by searching our bookshelves for stories that relate to what we're experiencing.

After our family read-a-loud at breakfast (we are reading through "Little Women" by Louisa May Alcott at the moment), I told the kids to search the house for "winter" books.

Roman found "Emily's Snowball" by Elizabeth Keown (today's snow was the sticky kind, perfect for making snowballs)...

I found "The Mitten" by Jan Brett (one of my favorites!)...

But Soren came back with this Little Golden book...

 (It used to be mine from my childhood.)

And it provided the perfect inspiration for our snow day.

Nothing extraordinary. I'm never doing anything real important. I spend my days schooling children and doing laundry. But the way to make an unexciting life feel brighter is by taking delight in all the little things. So why not bake the pumpkin pie we read about in the book? Isn't this why we dig through books? 

The children were very happy to know a pie was in the oven when they came in from playing in the snow.

The cat ran in behind them and found her bed soaking up a warm sunbeam. I couldn't object to this...

This is why we're home. To enjoy life.

Today was an uneventful homeschool day, but I've noticed our simplest at-home days are often the nicest.

We live life how we please.

We pursue what interests us.

Roman spent a big amount of time today writing out a detailed outline for an upcoming presentation he is scheduled to make.

Soren and Elsa played "Pirates" once their school work was complete. They changed into costume and everything! 

And Nola played the piano for what seemed like all afternoon, trying to perfect "Carol of the Bells" for her next recital. (How did her piano teacher know that is one of my favorite Christmas carols?!)

My older children are now at a level with their piano skills that listening to them play is quite pleasurable. I get to go about my work while my own children fill the house with live music. What a lovely thing!

I set a pretty table...

(Ordinary days are great days for setting a beautiful table! I think it lets our families know that they are important to us! It even has the power to lift the ordinary off of the day and turn dinner into something special.)

We enjoyed our pie with real whipped cream afterwards...

Today felt like a true start to the cold weather months I know lie ahead.

I have been out of practice.

To end this simple day at home (and to refresh my memory of how winter evenings are done) I warmed the house with candles and twinkly lights...

Yes, feels like winter.

Except we know Autumn won out in the end. *wink

She stood her ground all day. We watched the snow slowly melt in the bright sunshine.

We have our October back.

"I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers." -Anne of Green Gables

At least for now...

xo,

~ Courtney ~

Teaching a Happy Heart-Attitude

I've made an observation.

ALL kids have minds of their own and want their own way.

Some are stronger-willed than others, but they will all try, at one point or another, to "buck the system."

I've made another observation.

What never would have been tolerated in generations past, is now being encouraged, or ignored at best.

I'm talking about a rebellious, stubborn spirit in a child.

"Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child..."

- Proverbs 22:15

Contrary to popular modern-day opinion, children are not wise and do not know what's best.

It is our job as parents to train and correct them.

"Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction drives it far from him."

- Proverbs 22:15

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."

- Proverbs 22:6

I've said to my children more times than I could possibly count, "I am your mother. I know what is right and best. I expect obedience with a happy heart-attitude."

When my children were babies and toddlers I was militant in training them to obey me.

I never allowed them to say "no" to me.

I considered that a serious offense!

It can seem cute when a little child shouts "no" to his mother, and it's very tempting to think it is harmless at such a young age.

But what a child is at two, he will be at fifteen, if his faults are not corrected.

My baby and toddler years are now over, and I am so glad I taught my children to obey me with a happy heart-attitude!

It certainly is a lot of hard, frustrating work when they're young, but the Lord rewards those who diligently do what is right.

"Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will bring delight to your soul."

Proverbs 29:17

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

- Galatians 6:9

So, if you are a young mother reading this, I would encourage you... do not be afraid to go against the grain of today's culture. 

You do not have to live a defeated life in this area.

YOU are the mother!

What you say, goes!

This is good and healthy, and makes for a very peaceful home.

Expect your children to respond to you respectfully. And administer a consequence when they don't.

I would get down on my child's level, eye to eye, and firmly say, "Your response shows me that you do not have the right heart-attitude. I want you to have a happy heart! I expect that you obey me with a happy heart-attitude!"

Sometimes their emotions are so out of control that swift discipline may need to be applied. Or they may need to be sent to their room to cool down.

Other times they quickly shape up and I can see a change of heart immediately. When that's the case, I simply allow them a do-over. I repeat the instruction and when they reply agreeably, I smile at them and remind them that this is what I expect every time!

Homelife should be peaceful and pleasant, but chaos reigns when parents have no control.

Let's take back our God-given place, mamas!

We can do it!

"The beauty and power of home life is hard to overestimate. Godly women are called to take responsibility for this realm. In doing so, they build homes with an investment in labor and love for beauty and stability that would make a home a center of the ministry of the church; a source of peace for all who enter there."

- Lori Alexander

I hope I have encouraged you today!

xo,

 ~ Courtney ~