My Christmas Tree (and a Few Thoughts on Socializing with Difficult People)

Hello again, friends.

I am happy to be writing again.

I truly hope you all are enjoying this holiday season!

(Meanwhile, out my kitchen window...)

Isn't it wonderful to live in a place where there are glistening white winters!

I've always felt so lucky to live in the north.

"I never knew winter could be so beautiful." - Anna from Frozen.

I heard on the radio that it was 105 degrees in Australia today.

Yikes!

Yes friends, we should feel so happy to be here.

The heat will come back for us when it's ready. Until then I just tell myself this is so wonderful and fun! 

"Reality is something you rise above." - Liza Minnelli

*wink

It's warm inside, maybe you'd like to come in and see my Christmas tree...

Here she is. All ready for our family's Christmas Eve gathering here at our farmhouse.

I tried to make the dining room a little festive, too...

I hung garland and mistletoe over the doorway, included the nativity set with the centerpiece, and placed live topiaries on the window sills.

I'm also coaxing paper-white bulbs in this sunny corner...

(I spy with my little eye, a barn kitty asking to come in...)

"There's a happy feeling nothing in the world can buy~

When they pass around the coffee and the pumpkin pie..."

I realize not everyone has this warm and fuzzy feeling at Christmas.

Sometimes Christmas is stressful.

Sometimes it's painful.

Sometimes it forces us into social situations with difficult people.

I have wondered before what to do when some holiday events expose me to such people, however they are obligatory.

First of all I ask myself, must I absolutely go to this event? 

If I can at all find a way out of it without my absence being too upsetting, I take it!

However, not all events can be that easily dismissed.

The ones I must attend I have a few tactics for...

People who are genuine are easy targets for the One-Upper, the Jabber, and the Know-it-All, (just to name a few.) Let's take the One-Upper as an example...

Someone at the dinner table might say something like, "I am working on writing a book." Or you might say, "Our second-grader is reading fluently." The One-Upper will come back with, "Oh, I have written and published books. People ask me all the time if I would write a book... and all of my children were fluent readers by Kindergarten."

How do you cope with people like this?

My first tactic comes from a lesson I learned years ago when I worked at a salon.

I had a client who was very high-maintenance. She needed a lot of fussing over and she sucked up a lot of my time. In fact, even though our standard time-frame for a woman's haircut was 45 minutes, I could never manage to get her out of my chair in under an hour and a half!

I would get so frustrated with her because she'd drain me and put me behind schedule.

Finally one day our receptionist said something I've not forgotten.

She very wisely said to me, "Courtney, some people just need that. It's ok. Just schedule an hour and a half for her haircuts because that's what she needs. Some people just need that extra time and reassurance."

I was struck. I thought that was so understanding and kind.

I am thankful she taught me that life lesson because it can be used with various difficult people.

When the One-Upper shuts you up with, "All my children were fluent readers by Kindergarten," remember that they probably don't mean anything by it. They just need that extra attention and reassurance.

Another tactic I've tried is to just simply ignore these people.

Remember when our mothers would tell us to "Just ignore it!' when we'd come home from school complaining of a kid who picked on us that day?

Well, sometimes that's the best tactic. Especially with the Jabber. They'll realize they're getting nowhere with you and move on to find a new target.

However, if you choose to ignore it keep in mind that you'll have to find a way to come to peace with it within yourself.

Try putting on the "Breastplate of Righteousness" (Eph. 6:11) and ping those hurtful comments up to the Lord and let Him deal with the person.

The last tactic I want to share is this... I understand that I have no control, no power, and no authority over these types of people, BUT I can decide I will do better myself and train my children to do better in social politeness.

Just the other day Roman very proudly announced, "I am on the 85th lesson in my arithmetic book!" But before I could reply, Nola said, "I'm on the 87th lesson in mine!"

I know she didn't mean a thing by it, but I firmly corrected her. I said, "Nola, that was the wrong response. You are on the 87th lesson, so what you said is not untrue. But be happy for your brother and let him have a moment. Just because you have something to say, doesn't mean it should be said."

We can train our children in proper social etiquette, and teach them what's rude and what's polite.

So, going into all the parties and events this holiday season, let's remember...

"Only say what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." - Eph. 4:29

Thanks for reading,

xo,

~ Courtney ~