Parenting With Love And Discipline

So... Today I'm going to attempt to write about parenting with love and discipline.

It is a topic that I haven't written about much at all on this blog. The reason is because I am a young mom with young children, and I've wondered if that would cause some of you to not consider me as a credible source.

When I hear a young mother talk about parenting and discipline techniques, I tend to think, Well, what does she know? Her kids are all still very young. But, when I hear an older mother, who has turned out great kids talk of such things, my ears perk up and I want to hear what she has to say!

So, because of this, I will preface today's post by advising you to take everything I say with a grain of salt! Haha! And also to be aware that this is not an extensive list of all of my beliefs on the matter. Rather, it is just a collection of some thoughts that I've had bouncing around in my mind lately.

This morning during my quiet time, I read 2 Peter 1:3 which says, "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness." And it got me to thinking... Why do we think that in order to live well we need things like self-help books and counselors? Or in order to parent well we need parenting books and techniques? God has given us everything we need to live and parent well in His Word! 

"All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, so that the man (or woman!) of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:16-17

(I am not saying books and counselors are bad. They just have to be kept in their place.)

Remember, for the true Christian, God's Word is living and active, and sharper than any double-edged sword. (Hebrews 5:12)

So, let's keep that in mind as I begin...

It is OUR JOB mama's, to train our children in righteousness. School teachers aren't going to do it. Day care workers aren't going to do it. It is why God designed for US to be home with them! WE can train them in God's ways better than anyone else.

"Teach the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, and to be busy at home..." Titus 2:4-5

"She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." Proverbs 31:26-27

One of the most loving things we can do for our children is to discipline them.

I administer strict discipline for these three things: 

~ Dishonesty

~ Disobedience

and

~ Disrespect

I train my children from the time they are babies that they may not say "No" to me. It is considered a serious offense. I will get down on their level to eyeball them and I will say, "You may NOT say 'no' to mama! When mama gives you an instruction, you say 'Yes Ma'am' and obey." Then I give them the chance to do it again the right way. I do not yell at them or shame them. I simply say it firmly and seriously. This is training in righteousness. My "big" kids would never dare say "No" to me.

I also train my children from the time they are babies to obey me right away with a happy heart. Disobedience is always met with a strict consequence. I will drop what I'm doing, leave a store, abruptly end a conversation, etc... to immediately deal with disobedience. And once it's dealt with, I will give them the chance to do it again the right way. 

Here's an example:

Let's say I instruct a toddler to get down off a chair and come to me. But the toddler does nothing, and just looks at me. Has this ever happened to you? Haha... (DO NOT go to the child and remove them from the chair yourself!!! Make them obey!) I might kindly say something like, "I want you to do the right thing! Are you going to obey?" The toddler remains still... Knowing that it is true disobedience, and not the that child didn't hear me or understand, I calmly administer an age-appropriate spanking, then put them back on the chair. Then I say, "Are you ready to do the right thing? Let's try again!" And I give the same instruction again. My experience with this is that by this time, the child is ready and happy to obey. Then I make sure to praise them for their obedience. I will say something like, "Good job! I am happy that you did the right thing. Next time make sure you obey right away!" I have been faithfully doing this with all my kids for eight years now. And like I said above, I almost never have to spank my "big" kids for disobedience much anymore. 

"Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death." Proverbs 23:13-14

(A final note on this: Please do not begin something like this if you are not willing to remain faithful and consistent with it. To spank inconsistently is unfair to the child. Also, never spank with yelling or shaming. If spankings are administered with faithfulness and love, they will bring blessing to your household.)

"Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul." Proverbs 29:17

Now that that's out of the way, I'd like to write about more fun ways to show love to our children...

I like the practical side of life. Here is a list (with pictures!) of a few practical ways we can love our children well...

Give them fresh, good food!

My goal this winter is to have some sort of raw fruit or vegetable with every meal. 

I haven't done it perfectly, but good enough!

Some examples are:

At breakfast you could make a smoothie or have some berries/ At lunch you could slice up an apple or have a small bunch of grapes/ And at dinner, a fresh salad, or a few carrot sticks.

Read to your children...

This is what we are currently reading. I gather all the children around me every afternoon and let them play quietly at my feet while I read a chapter. 

Our afternoon reading sessions in the past have included books like Charolette's Web, The Indian In The Cupboard, and Paddle To The Sea...

Micah also reads to them every night before bed. They've read books like 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, Robin Hood, and Huckleberry Finn...

Give them fresh air and sunshine...

This is very tricky to do in the winter! I feel like I'm a good outside mom from spring until fall, but in the bitter cold, I send them out with Micah and I stay in! Haha..

Give them rest!

We've always held to an early bedtime for our kids. We've put our babies and toddlers to bed by 7:00pm through the years.  Just recently, though, we have experienced some protesting from our oldest son who is eight. His request was that he go to bed at 8:00 since he's eight! I thought he had a valid point, so now we let him stay up in his bed to read or draw quietly. He's responsible for watching the time and shutting his bedside lamp off at 8:00.

Give them beauty...

I grew up in a home that was beautiful. My mother decorated with flowers and antiques. Our windows were always open to let the sunshine in. I was proud to have my friends over and show them around our lovely home. 

Now as an adult, when I reflect back on my childhood home, I consider it a gift that my mother gave us beauty in our environment. This is something children won't realize while they're young, and they won't know to ask for it, but making your home beautiful is a precious gift.

Anyone can have a chair to sit on, a rug to walk on, and an end table to place a drink on... but what about the soul? Carefully consider the soul! Beauty, elegance, substance, color, and style nourish the human spirit. They are all things that will embrace you with a sweet feeling of home!

"Take care of your physical environment so that your physical environment can then 'take care' of you." ~Beverly Pogue

Play uplifting music...

Don't allow negativity into your home through music or news. Our innocent children do not need to see the news. And quite frankly, us mama's don't need to see it during the day, either. It will chip away at you while you are trying to work. Just play uplifting music instead.

Teach them the treasure and authority of God's Word!

There are two ways to do this. First, have them see YOU reading it everyday for yourself! It will be a wonderful memory for them in their adulthood. And secondly, read it and teach it everyday to them!

My children memorize a new verse each week because of the Bible Warriors program they attend on Wednesday nights.

They were given this little book to keep them on track with learning their verses. I go over their verse of the week with them and add in other portions of scripture as well, usually while we are eating breakfast or after we start our school day with the Pledge. 

Of course there are many more things I could add to this list... Many other ways to love our children well. Things like... Don't let the children rile or ruffle you/ Always mean what you say/ Encourage your children, etc...

But I will end it here for today.

I hope I have given you practical encouragement in this post. There are enough voices in our world right now telling women to leave their babies and go to work. I want my blog to be a voice for women who have chosen to be with their babies at home.

You are doing important work!

"For the grace of God teaches us to say 'No' to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in this present age." Titus 2:11-12

Thank you for reading...

xo,

~ Courtney ~