A Few Thoughts on Correcting Temper Tantrums in Children

It's not the most pleasant topic...

Temper tantrums

So, I'll include some light-hearted family photos in this post to help brighten things up...

(Spring 2016)

Micah and I have never had much tolerance for whining or sour attitudes in children.

We decided very early on that we would nip it in the bud with our children as best as we could.

Why is it important not to let small children get away with temper tantrums?

Well, it's simple. Children who are accustomed to throwing fits grow up to become adults who throw fits.

We've all seen grown adults whine, fuss, complain, march, protest and manipulate when they don't get their way.

It doesn't look like the two year-old's version, but it's a fit just the same.

All one needs to do to witness adults acting this way is to turn on the evening news or watch a little politics.

I do not wish to bring politics into my blog, since this is a blog on home living...

But the reason it relates is because it can all be traced back to the home.

Maybe these people didn't have parents who taught them that life isn't fair, but that's ok... we can be content with what we have!

(Now there's a novel thought in our day of everyone screaming about their rights!)

I can't do anything about what's going on in our current culture, but I can do something about my own heart-attitude and the attitudes of my children.

(Winter 2017)

It all starts when a baby or small toddler stiffens their little body, throws their head back and lets out a mighty wail...

"Give me what I want or I'll make you miserable!" is essentially their heart-attitude.

Well... what are you going to do, mama?

You could administer a punishment of some sort, or even ignore it... But the worst thing you can do is give the child what they want in that moment.

Compromising or negotiating with them is equally as bad, because you are allowing the child to yank you down to their level. 

YOU are the mother!

(Think- I train them, they do not train me!)

(Summer 2017)

A baby or toddler who is not yet speaking can be trained in cause and effect.

With my babies, I would make a point to train them that their fit is not a means to getting what they want. 

When my children grew a little older, I would simply explain to them, "I will never give you what you want as long as you are whining at me for it."

Then I would go on to say something along these lines, "Your whining shows me you do not have the right heart-attitude. If you can get a handle on your emotions, and speak to me respectfully, I will consider what you are asking."

I've learned through experience that even a very young child can be spoken to on these terms.

(Fall 2017)

"Children merely want to know where the boundaries lie and who's available to enforce them."

- Dr. James Dobson

I have also been very strict about not allowing my children to say, "no" to me.

They have all tried it once or twice over the years, but every time I would stop what I was doing, look them sternly in the eye, and very firmly say, "You may NOT say 'no' to me! You say 'yes ma'am' and obey."

In every instance they would quickly straighten up and give me an agreeable, "Yes, ma'am." 

I have seen the fruit from planting these seeds, because now my children wouldn't dare say, "no" to me.

I am so thankful I trained them this way when they were very little.

If you are a young mother with babies and toddlers, I would encourage you to work on these things now! You will reap a harvest of happy children you enjoy being around when they get a little older! 

(New Years Day 2018)

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

- Galatians 6:9

I'd love to reap a harvest of all my children growing into contented, God-fearing adults, who love and respect the people around them.

Correcting their temper tantrums now, is the best place to start!

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."

- Proverbs 22:6

xo,

~ Courtney ~